Ho ho ho ..

So Christmas is almost over for another year *sigh*. Not our happiest Christmas ever but they never are when we cannot all be together. Of course, it always feels like there is something missing (ie that husband and father person) but there is also the guilt. Guilt that I get to be here with the kids and watch their little faces light up at whatever treasures good ol' St Nick has left. Guilt that I get to see family and friends and share food and drink and love and laughter. Guilt that I am running around shooting water pistols and playing cricket in the park. Guilt that, while all of this is going on, my husband sits in a strange land with his work mates and is very likely on the job .. there is no such things as weekends and public hols where they are. The best they will have is maybe a Christmas dinner and a couple of beers and a phone call / skype call/ facebook chat session with the family. My husband is always at pains to tell me that it is all fine .. he wants us to enjoy ourselves and have a great day blah blah blah ... but for me it just never seems quite right. Don't get me wrong, Christmas Day is still a happy and magical day and we still have a ball ... it just means I squeeze my kids that bit tighter when I hug them goodnight, I add a few more xxx's & ooo's onto the email to hubby and I vow to myself to make next Christmas the best yet .. filled with all the fun, joy and laughter we can squeeze into it!!